Over Water
by sinemoras09
Summary: Konan has regrets. Konan/Yahiko, Konan/Pein. Angst. Spoilers for the Pein arc.


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There is a ripple of confusion among the Akatsuki; their Leader has suddenly collapsed.

"Shit," Deidara says. The other members watch with mouths agape as Itachi and Zetsu pull the Leader aside.

"I am fine." The Leader swipes at their hands. "A momentary weakness. Do not trouble yourselves over me."

Behind them, Konan stands, watching silently, her hands clenched reflexively under the folds of her cloak.

xXx

.

"A chakra rod became dislodged," Nagato says.

Konan stands over Yahiko's body, frowning. Wordlessly, Nagato yanks off the thin sheet, and Konan has to turn her head. Even now, years after Yahiko stopped being Yahiko, Konan averts her eyes from his nakedness, tightening her jaw as the Deva Path's body is exposed to the cold night air.

Nagato closes his eyes, then rests a withered hand on Yahiko's forehead. Pale blue chakra pulses beneath his palm.

Konan glances back. She can't help but notice how Yahiko's dead eyes are covered in a milky haze; the colors deepen, going from white to violet until the Rinnegan is back into focus.

"Tendo has been restored," Nagato says. He coughs, doubling over.

"Nagato!" Konan rushes beside him.

"I am fine." Nagato coughs again, flecks of blood spotting the cloth in his hand.

"You cannot keep doing this," Konan says. "You are growing weak."

"You know I do not have the luxury for such foolishness." Yahiko - Tendo - rises, then pulls his Akatsuki cloak over himself. Behind him, Nagato stands quietly, eyes half-closed in concentration. Konan tightens her jaw.

"I am not your subordinate," Konan says. "You do not have to use your puppets on me."

"The Deva Path is no puppet," Tendo says. He touches Konan on the arm. "It is easier this way," Tendo says, softly. "Lately I have found it difficult to speak."

"Nagato." Konan's eyes sweep upward to where Nagato is leaning, his thin body heaving slightly. Wordlessly, Tendo steps past her and pulls Nagato's body around him, hoisting him back onto the chair.

xXx

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She remembers when they were young. When Nagato was a scared little boy and Yahiko smiled like the sun.

There was nothing they couldn't do, then. Hunger and desperation spurred them toward the edges of the earth, but nothing could hurt them as long as they were together.

xXx

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They were fifteen and stupid, holding hands and preaching peace from their throats.

Yahiko threw back his hood, the rain falling in slick sheets off his rubber cloak. "Oi! Look what I found!" Yahiko said, and he tossed Konan a bag. "Apples!"

"What?" Konan untied the cloth sack and stared. "Where did you get these?"

"Stole 'em," Yahiko said. He pulled off one rain-soaked boot and threw it against the floor.

Konan frowned. They hadn't resorted to stealing since they were children. "Are you sure this won't undermine our negotiations?" Konan said.

"Tch. Hanzou doesn't care." Yahiko palmed an apple, red and cheerful and wholly out-of-place with the drabness of their surroundings, and bit into it, juices dribbling down his chin. "He's too concerned with power. Stealing a few apples won't even raise an eye."

"It just seems reckless," Konan said. Yahiko grinned, then tossed her an apple.

Nagato, as always, was quiet. Yahiko squatted beside him, then held out an apple in his hand.

Kunai burst through the air, and Yahiko and Konan slammed toward the ground. Apples rolled, bright red, as the explosion rocked through the cave.

"Get down! Get down!" Yahiko said. He grabbed Konan's arm as the second explosion detonated; enemy nin burst into the compound.

Konan doesn't remember what happened, next: what she remembers is Nagato's eyes. A wave of chakra slammed through the enemy nin, knocked against Konan's body and slammed Yahiko against the wall.

It was the first time Konan had seen the Rinnegan. Sure, Jiraiya-sensei had trained Nagato as he had trained the rest of them, but Nagato was always hesitent with regards to his power, and kept his eyes carefully in check. Even now, years after Jiraiya-sensei left, Nagato regarded his eyes with a quiet sort of fear, resorting to only the simplest taijutsu to get him through battle.

After their skirmish with the enemy nin, Konan bandaged her wounds while Yahiko nursed a dislocated shoulder; Konan watched as Nagato hunched into himself, guilt wrapping him like a suffocating blanket.

"It wasn't your fault," Konan said.

Nagato said nothing. Shadows crossed Nagato's face, as if he was looking at something far away. "I don't understand my power," Nagato said. "I've been trying to control it, but it's no use. Jiraiya-sensei says I'm special. But it's nothing but a burden."

Nagato began to cry. Konan stared at her hands. They were rough and calloused, and under her fingernails she could see old dried blood.

Yahiko shifted, then with difficulty, sat next to Nagato, favoring his hurt shoulder.

"Stupid, don't cry," Yahiko said. "It's because of you that we're alive."

Nagato looked up. Light fell on his face, and Konan could see the tears welling up in the corners of his eyes.

"Oi," Yahiko said. "You hear me?"

"Yeah," Nagato said. He hunched into himself, pulling his legs to his chest. "I wish sensei were here," Nagato said. "I wish I had better control."

Yahiko looked sad for a moment. Then he smiled, clapping Nagato on the shoulder.

"It doesn't matter," Yahiko said. "As long as I'm here, I'll protect you. Both of you," Yahiko said. He motioned toward Konan, nodding. "You're my family. And as long as I'm here, I'll make sure nothing hurts you."

xXx

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She traces the rigid edge of Nagato's ribs, sliding her palm flat against his yellowed skin.

"You mustn't push yourself," Konan says. Nagato raises his head. "Nagato. The other members are starting to question. That Tendo collapsed-"

"It does not matter," Nagato says. His voice, like the rest of him, is grit and dusty paper. "The Akatsuki have no choice but to follow me. You know this, Konan."

Konan says nothing. She thinks of Hanzou and the massacre that followed after. _I can be ruthless as I can be kind_.

"I just want to protect them," Nagato said. She stood at the doorway while Nagato sat next to Jiraiya-sensei, rainwater sliding down his cheeks like tears. "I don't want to see them hurt."

At that time, Konan said nothing. She turned away, then softly shut the door.

xXx

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It wouldn't stop raining the day Yahiko died. Konan wept as Nagato bent over Yahiko's body, smoothing his skin with his hands, as if comforting him.

"We need to bury him," Konan said. She sniffed and wiped her eyes. "As soon as the rain lets up, we'll find a place. Someplace proper..."

Tears filled Konan's eyes again, but she wiped her eyes. Nagato said nothing. Gently, he cupped Yahiko's face, then wiped back the flecks of blood.

"What if I can bring him back?" Nagato said. His eyes flicked upward, his Rinnegan pulsing, slightly. "Konan. If I could-"

"Can you?" Konan said. Nagato nodded mutely, then closed his eyes.

It didn't work; Yahiko was still dead. A bright sheen of sweat covered Nagato's forehead.

"I'm sorry," Nagato said. Konan began to sob.

When she came face-to-face with Tendo, Konan raged for days. "Nagato! How could you! You're descrating the dead! Let me bury him!" Konan sobbed. "Let me give him what he deserves!"

"He deserved to live," Nagato said. He pressed another chakra rod into Yahiko's arm; it slipped into his skin, gentle as a kiss. "Konan. You of all people know Yahiko was the leader of our organization. This too cannot change."

"We can't do this," Konan said. A tear fell, then another. "Nagato, it's wrong."

"Did you love him?" Nagato said. Konan closed her eyes. "Konan?"

"Yes," Konan said, finally. "Didn't you?"

xXx

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The door opens. Konan looks up and sees Tendo standing in the doorway.

"What is it?" Konan says. Automatically her mind adjusts; he is The Leader here, not the Deva Path, not the reanimated body of her old dead friend. "Is something wrong?"

The Leader gives her one long look, then moves to sit heavily on her bed. Konan sits carefully beside him.

"You may call me 'Yahiko,' if you wish," he says.

Konan looks up. The Leader's eyes are sad.

Konan holds her breath; it is dark in her room except for the dingy patch of moonlight on the floor.

Konan's hand shakes as she reaches up to touch his cheek; his eyes fall closed, and Konan tilts her head upwards, and lets her lips graze his. The kiss is slow and hesitant, and Konan pulls back a little, looking into his eyes. Tendo's eyes open again, and she can almost see Yahiko's soft brown eyes from behind the Rinnegan.

"Nagato," Konan says. Tendo shakes his head.

"Do not say that name," Tendo says.

"Nagato, I-"

But Tendo crushes her against his chest, kissing her hard against her mouth. Konan's hands flutter upward, then settle around his waist. His skin is cool but his mouth is warm, and if Konan tries not to think about it, it feels almost alive.

She leans backward onto the bed, and Tendo hovers above her, nuzzling his face against the crook of her neck, then running his tongue against her jaw. Konan sighs. They kiss again, his cold hand palming her cheek.

When he works his way inside her, Konan dimly imagines how it's supposed to feel, warm flushed skin and sweat, Yahiko's hot breath fanning against her ear. She gasps at the feel of him thrusting hard inside her, eyes squeezed shut and trying to pretend. Her hands grope blindly across the muscled plains of his back, and she can feel the hard cold chakra rods jutting out like stalks of asphodel.

"I indulge you because you were my friend," Nagato says.

Konan says nothing. In the bed, Yahiko's body is stiff and unmoving, and Konan pulls the sheet around her breasts, shaking. Nagato doesn't quite look at her. It makes her feel ashamed.

"Do you feel it?" Konan asks, finally. "When Tendo is inside me. Do you-"

"No," Nagato says. His eyes flash. "You forget, Konan," Nagato says. "We cannot feel pain."

Konan closes her eyes, tears spilling over.

"I could have loved you, Nagato," Konan says. "But you won't let me."

"I am a god. I do not indulge myself in the petty affairs of men."

"Then what am I?" Konan says. "What am I to you, Nagato? You say I'm not your friend, then why do you come to my bed?"

Nagato says nothing. Konan stands, pulling the bedsheet around her.

"I hate you," Konan says, and Nagato turns; she can see the delicate bumps of his spine through his skin.

"You would not be the last," Nagato says.

xXx

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They are fifteen and stupid, and Nagato and Yahiko are sitting by the pier. Tomorrow they will negotiate with Hanzou and hopefully bring about an everlasting peace.

The rain is starting to lighten. Quietly, Konan takes a paring knife and cuts into the flesh of the last apple, separating it into thirds and handing the pieces to her friends. Yahiko grins and eats, and Nagato smiles, his eyes covered by the length of his hair.

* * *

**A/N: honestly, this started off as gen, but somehow Konan/Pein worked its way into it. *facepalm* Oops.**


End file.
